‘Twas the holigay season, and ‘straddlers all ‘cross the land
knew winter was comingwhen our holigay content went up as planned.
They organizedcute parties for ten, hundreds,or more,
And found present ideas from gift guides galore.
Then somewhere in Slack, there arose such a clatter,
As I got excited for the holidays to matter.
I’vebeen ready for this since October started,
And it only got worse as Thanksgiving departed.
In fact, I was so excited for the season to come,
That I went looking for seasonal projects for everyone,
And asvisions of Pinterest swirled in myhead,
Iset out to share them, and wrote this for you in bed.
Now queermos! Now ‘straddlers! Now commenters and lurkers!
On craftersand bakers from all faiths and backgrounds!
To the kitchen to cook! To the living room to sew!
Now get on my level! Get festive, you all!
AUTHOR’S NOTE: Despite my predilection forSanta, there’s stuff in here for Christmas, Hanukkah, and just-plain-winter festivities. Have no fear: your experiences are here.
Crafts & DIY
Because We Love You
+ Faux Leather Christmas Collar
+ Striped Stockings
+ Lizz once gave you a guide to making different fun kinds of menorahs! Memembah?
+ Make a sock dog and these other cute gifts this year and everyone will fall head-over-heels for you. Promise.
Gender-Neutral Probably Queer Snow People and Their Flakes
Put a Wreath On It
+ Christmas Card Holder Wreath
+ Ornament Wreathw/ Optional Santa Belt
Will You Light My Candle
+ Blue Ice Crystal Candle Holder
Klub (Rein)Deer
No, but like, seriously. All reindeer imagery makes me wish I was at Klub Deer. It makes Christmas a whole lot more queer for me, so I advise this path for you as well.
+ (Or This Glitter Reindeer Art.)
#XXXMAS
The Festival of Crafts
+ Handmade Celebration Crackers
Snow Globes
Things With Strings
+ String Lights Dreidel Garland
Getting Hung
+ If you wanna make dip mix, milk flavor, or hot cocoa ornaments, you need to head on over here and get cookin’.
Next: Recipes & Food, plus Inspiration, Links & Lists!
Recipes & Food
From the Archives: Get Baked, Toasted, And Joyful
+ Irish Coffee For When It’s Cold Outside
+ Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire
+ Get Toasted with Autostraddle: The Holigay Drinkstravaganza
+ Flaming Cinnamon Martini
+ Vegan Olive Oil Challah
+ Get Toasted with Autostraddle: A Very Special Holiday Drinking Edition
Gingerbread Structures
I’m thinking that artistic interpretations can include “dessert rendition of the place you wanna crawl into when your family all sits down to dinner.”
He Sees You When You’re Cooking and Other Christmas Tales
+ Santa’s Belly Marshmallow Pops
Everyone loves a good belt buckle, y’know?
I was gonna save the best for last, but I love you too much to hold this pizza out on you.
Blue and White Frosting Forever
+ Chocolate Peppermint Rice Krispie Balls
Petition to dedicate these to Drake and call them “Drizzy Dreidel” cookies instead. Nothing would ever be the same.
+ Blue and White Velvet Cupcakes
Non-Denominational Festive Celebration Food
+ Edible Wrapper White Chocolate Snow Person Cupcakes
+ Sunny Day Snow Person Cookies
These are my absolute favorite, mostly because of the silliness factor, and also because of that snowman’s total O Face.
(Or add two donuts and make a snow person on a stick. You do you.)
+ Nutter Butter Snow People Cookies
+ Cinnamon Applesauce Heart Ornaments
+ Remember Vanessa’s HoliGAY cake? I miss Vanessa.
You’re a Mean One
THE REST: Inspiration, Lists, and Links
This just seemed important.
+ Creative Christmas tree ideas for small, cozy homes.
+ Wanna paint your nails? Or maybe just one, because femme flagging. Either way,there’s some real festive ideas out there.
+ I found, like, a lot of Hanukkah printables for you.
+ Also see: printable Hanukkah wine labels, paper dreidels.
+ Or, like, print out these printables and build a DIY photo booth, if that’s more your lane. (And these printable props!)
+ And look at this f*cking printable village.
+ 25 ways to tie a bow, ’cause I’m bad at it. Also, a while ago, Laura taught us how to wrap gifts and make good plays on rap song titles.
+ Looking for a gift that’s less “did it myself” and more “arranged it thematically myself?” Try these gift basket ideas.
+ Fold your napkins into trees, because you can. (Or like an Elf Hat.)
+ I’m really confounded by the idea of an elf on a shelf but if you have one at your disposal, I recommend doing these 50 tricks with it. Or just build it a kissing booth.
+ Holiday Office Party Hacks. Because it matters.
+ Probably you could read our entire holigay archive for some inspiration, unless you’re not exactly like me.
Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page
Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?
Carmen
Carmen spent six years at Autostraddle, ultimately serving as Straddleverse Director, Feminism Editor and Social Media Co-Director. She is now the Consulting Digital Editor at Ms. and writes regularly for DAME, the Women’s Media Center, the National Women’s History Museum and other prominent feminist platforms; her work has also been published in print and online by outlets like BuzzFeed, Bitch, Bust, CityLab, ElixHER, Feministing, Feminist Formations, GirlBoss, GrokNation, MEL, Mic and SIGNS, and she is a co-founder of Argot Magazine. You can find Carmen onTwitter, InstagramandTumblr or in the drive-thru line at the nearest In-N-Out.
Carmen has written 919 articles for us.
